Stabs and Jabs

williamhare · Post by **williamhare** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 1:48 pm

- The Clinton Portis thing where he has a new costume for each media-day gathering is something that I found disturbing a few years back (help me out Shrink Attack), but I now find the act to have staying power and I'm a fan. Sadly it took three boxes of Kleenex to get here---- and mucho paid in Behavioral Science Deductibles. Stay fresh Clinton... Ya sick Pheck.

- My last pair of (now/again lost) prescription sunglasses cost me $96.75 PER TIME WORN. What is it in us that makes us feel like the sixth time is going to be different? Or, for me,the fifth time in the NFFC Main.

-I've gone against the "2nd TE as Flex" strategy twice now and both Owners seemed to do well by it. Not sure if I'm serious are ya?

-If you love calling out the name of Jim Sorgi or your #32 rated D/ST, then Draft Champs is for you. But, if you are a miserly bastid who won't overpay for anything, go with the Auction format.

- Somebody explain the mass appeal of actor Brendan Fraser to me please. I don't get it. Does Hollywood just use him as a Loss Leader for tax time? While I'm no casting specialist, it seems that nearly ANYONE else would be better in most of his roles (where he speaks). He was dopey giving an ESPY the other night...... I don't believe he can act, but I also don't believe that directors ask him to act. Bren being Bren?

- When I research bruising RB Brandon Jacobs I see the same career curve as Christian Okoye.... only at the 70% level. Enjoy your last two years in the league Big Guy. The Nightmare is on you, man.

- When I'm doing post-draft eval, I eliminate the first 4 and last 6 rounds to see who has the best team. At least 80% valid IMHO. Teddy B. help me out here.

- I've had enough of TV News(and Sports)anchors using the term "fraction of" without applying some exact fraction. There is a large range between the fraction 1/1,000,000 th and 99/100 th. We're all a fraction of nearly everything that we do. Maybe some of you math/quant/actuarial/anal types can convince the Talking Heads to narrow that for us just a little. I'd sleep better knowing that the return of Marty the Schott was a fraction like 1/100 than 4/5.

- I had to apoligize to my kids. The streaming data on the Sony said that "Dan Dierdorf is being recognized for an award in Broadcasting".
Impulsively, I accused them of switching from ESPN to Comedy Central. Imagine my (and the Broadcasting world's) embarrasement when truth became stranger than fiction. Sorry, boys.

- Could anything give a customer less faith in a service person than this ironic sitch that happened to me: An exterminator shows at the front door, smile on face, pleasant personality------ and a bug crawling on his forehead! No sheet!

- A fantasy website has an ad that touts "193 days until the Big Game". I think they were referring to the SuperBowl, but are these marketing wizards ever missing the target. If you're like me SB Forty-Whatever would not make the top 5. More like:

1 Receive Draft Slots
2 Draft
3 Opening Weekend
4 Stretch Drive and Playoffs (wks #10 thru 16)
5 Check mailbox for $$$

I honestly thought the ad was from early March.
HMan83

Shrink Attack · Post by **Shrink Attack** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 3:02 pm

Hman83,

I love the post. I really do. It made me laugh, but it also suggests an unusual combination of psychiatric diagnoses and psychopathologies unseen since my residency days roaming the halls of The Johns Hopkins Hospital. Cases such as yours are now only typically talked about in medical school textbooks, but here you are, a living specimen, a modern psychiatric equivalent of the Dodo bird!

Since I'm a Falcons season ticket holder (which, I admit, suggests a sado-masochistic personality defect), I may drop in on you in Atlanta to examine you myself. Mind if I bring two men with white coats and a net? And do you have an allergy to Thorazine?

In the meantime, if I had to choose one professional question to ask you at this time, it would be this:

What's the color of the sky in your world?

williamhare · Post by **williamhare** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 3:25 am

Shrink-
You'll have to check how the thorazine interacts with the other meds I'm taking.
Otherwise, just aiming to entertain a little. I'll be at Falcons-Bears on Oct 12 with my completely normal fam of Bear fans so keep in touch and purchase a beer for me.
HMan83

El Diablo · Post by **El Diablo** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 8:55 am

reminds me of "Deep thoughts , by Jack Handy"

williamhare · Post by **williamhare** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 10:26 am

Shrink-
If you're hurting for patients, I hear there is a guy in Texas that dresses his cat in his favorite team's cheerleader uni every Sunday.

His name escapes me. A "Mystery" really.
HMan83

Shrink Attack · Post by **Shrink Attack** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 10:35 am

Originally posted by Hman83:
Shrink-
If you're hurting for patients, I hear there is a guy in Texas that dresses his cat in his favorite team's cheerleader uni every Sunday.

His name escapes me. A "Mystery" really.
HMan83 What kind of insurance does he have?

williamhare · Post by **williamhare** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 1:28 pm

Someone named Blue Foot would probably have Blue Cross, right?
HMan83

Shrink Attack · Post by **Shrink Attack** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 1:34 pm

Originally posted by Hman83:
Someone named Blue Foot would probably have Blue Cross, right?
HMan83 Blue Balls, more likely.